My son made it to court on Monday after violating the restraining order from my house by refusing to stop banging on the front door and window. This is how I grew up—with my dad banging on the door and my mother’s bedroom window until she finally let him in. Then he started choking her. They both have/had Borderline Personality Disorder. My son was wanting a Mental Health Diversion to rehab rather than jail, but the police had put down the wrong penal code, which was for batt

After multiple warnings to my 27-year-old alcoholic son last night that I would call the police if he didn’t stop banging on the door and window, he was arrested. This morning I talked to my son’s CARE Team from the Dept of Mental Health that I got him by petitioning for a new program called CARE Court (other states are watching CARE Court and considering their own version). He said that IRC (Inmate Reception Ctr), where he’s being held in L.A. isn’t bad, it’s just boring. He

I’m so tense worrying about my 27-year-old alcoholic son that I feel like if I move too quickly I’ll shatter like a plate. In Vegas with my fiance to go look at wedding chapels. Thank God I enjoyed the wedding planning while my son was in rehab. He spent 3 nights in the hospital this week, then was discharged only to find out that they’d lost his wallet and clothes. I then received this message from him: “They lost my wallet and the clothes I came in. They lost my wallet and

I’ve been seeing my 27-year-old son run the gamet of alcoholism for the past 9 years. At 18, he starting drinking a 1/4 handle of whiskey/day and then added in liquid Benadryl to sleep. He had his first of 15 5150s that year after cutting his wrist with a razor. 5 years later, after constant begging from us to go to the hospital, he finally did. He’d been self-detoxing and claimed he took a sip of a beer and the whites of his eyes half filled up with brown, like his skin. He’

On Wednesday one of my neighbors called the paramedics for my 27-year-old alcoholic son, who’s been living in his car in my pkg lot for the last few weeks since he got thrown out of rehab after almost 8 months. This has led to him vomiting and passing out on the ground near his car. My son refused to be evaluated, so the police were called. They said they were taking him to the psych ward on a 5150, which was confirmed by staff when I called. But later, when I looked on the o

My 27-year-old alcoholic son has been living in his car in my pkg lot for the last few weeks since he got thrown out of rehab after almost 8 months. This has led to him vomiting and passing out on the ground near his car. 2 days ago, when I was home, a male neighbor walked over to my son and asked if he was ok. I heard him tell my son that he’s been sober for 7 years and his life is great. Then yesterday, while I was at my fiance’s in the next town, I got a call from a deputy

This one kind of blew my mind. My 27-year-old alcoholic son has been passing out and vomiting all over my pkg lot, where he currently lives in his car. He can barely walk straight, but this is what his CARE Team said: We bought him breakfast and spoke with him for a while. I called the rehab. They may have a bad available next week. He needs to take a shower soon. Hopefully we can get him to LA fitness and have him change out the clothes he has on. I have to transport another

My 27-year-old alcoholic son’s back living in his car in my pkg lot ever since Mother’s Day weekend. He made it through 3 days of detox but then we couldn’t find him a bed in rehab anywhere in L.A. There are new rehabs being built with Prop 1 funding but that will take years. Meanwhile, my son’s been passing out in my pkg lot and vomiting outside his driver’s side door. He’s also vomited down the steps on the back wall of my pkg lot that lead up to a convalescent home. So, my

This is the reality of living in the slum city of Los Angeles. Slum cities are urban areas that have high poverty, poor living conditions, and inadequate housing. Detroit and New Orleans are also slum cities. My alcoholic son is far from alone. I'd just watched a video of the town hall meeting that was held across the street from us last month in the park where my son got assaulted last year. The small rehab that my son had attended in 2024 had gotten Prop 1 funding to expand

This is the sixth time my son’s tried to detox in the last few weeks. Up until now he’s always left after day one or two. Now he’s finally earned the certificate of medical clearance so he can transfer to a rehab. Today is Monday. He just did an intake with a new rehab and is waiting to hear back. I’ve been telling my son not to wait until the last minute to try to find an available bed in rehab and to also have backup beds ready if he can. But my son—with his addict brain—ha

While in the ER awaiting detox for my son, he and I heard a man’s conversation on speakerphone next to us. He was trying to get the girl on the other side of the waiting room (notice HE didn’t even want to sit next to her) into a rehab. “They said she couldn’t come in because she has an arson case,” he told the woman on speakerphone. “She has an ARSON CASE?” the woman yelled. “Of course they’re not going to let her in! She might get pissed off and burn the building down! If y

Love and happy mothers day. Relatively better after a forced taper leading up to this, but absolutely terrified of both returning to the streets or programs. I told him that I know he’s terrified but each time in detox and rehab has used those muscles and he’s stronger now. I also told him what I keep repeating to him: Don’t take your eye off the goal and put one foot in front of the other. That’s how life is done.

Amid all of the pain, self-destruction, and chaos was this vow from my 27-year-old son. And no matter how deep into his addiction he is, he also doesn’t drink on my birthday. My son is into his third day of detox at the hospital, which is usually the hardest day. He’s left on this day 5 times in the last few weeks without completing 3 nights for the certificate of medical clearance for rehab. He said he felt a lot better than he thought yesterday. “Just hunger and some brain

My 27-year-old alcoholic son’s son is now 2 years old. His mother stayed with my son for four years during his alcoholism, but then left before their son was born. When my son told me his girlfriend was pregnant, my first thought was this: She sees the tortuous pain my son goes through. Why on earth would she want to pass on the alcohol gene? I pictured my grandson at 18 going from 0 to 100 with the drinking from the moment he took his first sip of alcohol, like my son did. H

After 5 days of self detox in his car in my pkg lot, my son wants to go to treatment. He’s miserable, wants a bed to sleep in, and is trying to do the 30 days of treatment that I’m requiring of him in order to come back in the house. The original deal was 9 months in rehab. My son made it almost 8 months but then relapsed, so now I’m requiring him to once again get sober. We tried 90 days of “rehab” at my house 2 years ago when my son was 25. He came up with the idea of getti

I’m sitting in my car in the shade in my pkg lot keeping an eye on my son, who’s asleep in the passenger seat. Today is day 5 of his self detox. He’s had one beer to taper so he doesn’t have another seizure like the one in 2024 when he’d been drinking a handle of whiskey a day. This time he’d only been drinking for five weeks since his seven month and eighteen day stay in rehab. He’d also tried to detox five times in facilities after he’d gotten thrown out. Around St. Patrick

Back when I’d found my son a bed in his first of five rehabs that wasn’t court ordered, I’d managed to talk one of the staff into sending me the “secret” list of all rehabs in L.A. Los Angeles rehabs are way overcrowded, so she’d been told not to give out this list. “What you want to do is go down the list and call each one every day until a bed opens up,” she’d said. So I did and I’d found my son a bed. But what does my son do now that I tell him he needs to find his own reh

This morning I texted my son and asked how he’s feeling after day 3 of feeling miserable and in hell. He texted back a one-word reply: stable. Then he forwarded me this text that he’d just received: “Hello. Occupational therapy driver rehabilitation would like to schedule an appointment with you. Please contact our office by phone or text to schedule.” In August 2024, my son had a seizure in the back of the car on the way to rehab. This particular rehab was a converted house

Today is day 3 of my son's plan that he's had for weeks to sabotage himself by running out of money for alcohol. As all alcoholics know, day 3 is the hardest. He's now living in his car in my parking lot and has been ever since I got a three-year restraining order to keep him out of my house. I stopped by his car and asked if he wanted to go to Starbucks with me. He said no, that he was going to be sick and miserable as hell, and that he'd rather have a bagel and cream cheese

After nine years of chronic alcoholism, forty-five trips to the hospital, fourteen 5150s, four 5250s, five stints in rehab, and five recent stints in detox, I've finally come up with a realistic plan to manage life with my alcoholic son. It's taken a year and a half to implement, but here it is... First, I filed, and was granted, a three-year restraining order from my house ONLY, not from me. This is because his sister, the pets and I will not live in his chaos and will not b